Scientists discover new elementThe heaviest element known to science was recently discovered by physicists at the Yale Research Center. The element, tentatively named "Administratium", has no protons or electrons and thus has an atomic number of zero. However, it does have one neutron, 125 assistant neutrons, 75 vice-neutrons, and 11 assistant vice-neutrons. This gives it an atomic mass of 312. These 312 particles are held together in a nucleus by a force that involves the continuous exchange of meson-like particles called morons.
Since it has no electrons, administratium is inert. However, it can be detected chemically as it impedes every reaction it comes into contact with. According to the scientists who discovered it, aminute amount of administratium caused a reaction to take over 4 days to complete, when it normally would have occured in less than one second.
Administratium has a normal life of approximately three years. Unlike most elements though, at the end of this time ot does not actually decay, but instead undergoes a reorganization in which the assistant neutrons, vice-neutrons, and assistant vice-neutrons all exchange places. Additionally, some studies have shown that the atomic weight actually increases after each reorganization.
Research at other laboratories indicate that administratium occurs naturally in the atmosphere. It tends to concentrate at certain points such as government agencies, large corporations, universities and can even be found in the newest, best maintained facilities. Infiltration is usually at the highest levels in a building, but once inside it easily disseminates throughout the entire structure.
Scientists point out that administratium is known to be toxic at any level of concentration and can easily destroy any productive reactions it comes into contact with. Attempts are being made to determine how administratium can be controlled so as to prevent irreversible damage, but results so far are not promising. In fact, all attempts at control so far, have only hastened the reorganization process and resulted in even heavier atomic mass. In some cases, the reactions that previously occured in the area have totally ceased.